Work is trouble

Work really is trouble and old issues of insecurity and paranoia resurface.

Or maybe it's just too much coffee.

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Yesterday was my dad's Deathday anniversary. It's been 13 years since he's died and we really really miss him. When I remember him my eyes well up and I feel drained. I guess I haven't really paid much attention to him for so long. I really miss my dad.

I didn't have enough money to buy flowers for him yesterday so I'm counting our Monday get together will be a blast. I'm sure it will because everyone is going to be there!

I'm inviting dragging Petter so Leslie can start calling him a winner xD I love it.

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On better news. Sagar and Marishka are back together! I love this news so much and I'm so happy for the both of them!

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Wow, this post is really a rollercoaster of emotions.

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I'm typing happily away in the office because there's no one around. The PD people are somewhere having a meeting and the quietness makes me think better and be more productive.

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I really miss him too (even though wre just saw each other the other day). The past few days were so draining and all I need a good non-relative hug. Yeah.

I'm also hankering for some serious Kabab pigging out. Mmmm Keema with eggplant.

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For the first time ina very long time, I am very much broke. I can't even buy a bottle of C2 without thinking hard about it. Seriously!

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I promise pictures soon. :)

♥ Creole

P.S. Does anyone know a good diet pill? One that doesn't have severe side effects like cardiac arrests, an extra head or vagina failure? I really want to loose weight. For reals.

Juggle

It's been knockin' on my noggin for a while that balancing your life is a damn hard thing to do.

I mean, sure, you can do it in The Sims and Kudos' effortlessly, but they don't have carry-home work and cut-throat deadlines to accomplish. I cannot focus on something and take care of something else at the same time. Like, I can't focus on my studies/work if I have to take care of my dying social life. I have to "take care" of things one at a time which sucks.

I'm guilty of letting a couple of friendships rot because my attention is somewhere else. Oh poop.

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In lighter news, we have cable now! *air guitar*

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This day should be over

I had a surprisingly good day yesterday, even though it was sprinkled with unwanted flubs and overspending (I'm seriously running low on funds).

My Life Painting plate didn't suck so much (I got an 86 for 3 hours of crammed and crabby work!) and even though I flubbed (read: lost my balance for a nano-second) during the model screening, I passed it with my other model Jam (Muchos thanks to Johan and Asia!!). Sadly, my model of uber-choice, Karla (read: CFAD twin), didn't make the cut.

Some stupid fashion director of some agency asked her if she was willing to loose weight. What? I wanted my model to be curvy! As much as possible, I wanted them to be not stick thin! Not stick thin!! But to save the drama and wasted time, I decided to get the other model Asia got me.

So I have two semi-professional models and a cousin (Maui! ♥) under my management. I'll pay for all of their expenses and then some (regular trips to Starbucks so that they can have a good working relationship. Ha ha.). Oh, and me.

Hello? Do I see another Starbucks planner soon?? I hope not!

Speaking of which, I named my Starbucks planner Bebii.

Bebii is currently full of fashion show stressing, late Animation requirements, bugging of the sponsor-like sort and Pep Squad meetings. I never thought I had such a packed schedule!! I guess my need to fill up Bebii with the things I have to do contributes to me being so stressed and mataray. I don't want to see my Bebii go to waste, kasi naman sayang yung coffee and the permanent dent on my wallet and nervous system.

So much work! Pep Squad pa. I've been transfered from the Booster (taga-sigaw) department to the Drummer (taga-tambol) department. I'm not eve sure if I'm a bass or a snare drummer. God, I don't even know if I have what it takes. Bahala na.

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By the by, I created a fashion blog for my designs, fashion show schedule, details and my fashion-related opinions. It's still a work in progress.

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Drop me a line! Show me that you love me!

♥♥ Creole

P.S.
Today's saving factor: It's a weekend!

HOW IS MY DRING?

Excuse me, your what?

How is my dring?

Luwlz. I saw this the other day painted at the back of a white cab on my way to school. As many of you know (to the Filipinos who read this, at least) that every PUV (public utility vehichle) is required to have that at the rear end of their cars (together with the LTO hotline which isn't a hotline at all.). It's funny how the painter/writer/what do you call them exactly? missed a "V" and an "I". Ohoh. I just think it's amusing.

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Hectic hectic hectic! School's been hectic! Crazy! The fashion show is closer than we anticipated and there's some serious inner-group issues (nothing to be concerned of, of course, we can handle it.). I submitted my designs and had 2 approved and 2 "to be improved".

Which means I have to re-do my designs. Luwlz. I'm not happy with them.

The fashion show brings forth a whole bunch of issues.

he design, how is it related to the Sidewalk theme?

Excecution, will you make it in time? Will your sewers actually listen to you instead of going ahead and making this original-cut dress into a Manang's bestida?

Fabric, will this actually look good with this other type? Is is too thin? Stretchy? Light against this quilted linen?

Models. Will you find 4 in time? If you do, can they walk? Are they even tall enough? Will they listen or will they pull some serious Morgan and bitch out because they have "model" to put under their name?

Money. Simple. Do you have enough?

All these questions run through my messy head every time someone mentions fashion. It's fucking crazy I think I'm going to collapse!

But not.

Last fashion class I suffered a mild anxiety-attack. I started to palpitate, my head starts spinning and breathing is a chore. It seems like I'm pressured and expected to do an amazing job because for the past 2 1/2 years I'm in college I've ranted non-stop about fashion design. HARGH. At least I'm chillax now. I'm tryng to contact models and by models I mean friends who are interested.

If you are SMS me (o9158330136)! If you're 5"3 (w/ or w/o heels) you'd be awesome!

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And oh yeah, I suck at Package Design. Seriously.

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I also got my Starbucks planner! Marishka was mildy surprised to see me with one.

"May nagbebenta ba sa inyo nyan?"
"Wala."
"... So inipon mo lahat ng stickers for one?"
"Yup."
"Lupet mo babe, so wala ka nang pera?"
"Wala na."

Lol lol lol.

R U SRLY?

Whatever. Hi hi guys! Belated happy christamas and an advanced merry new year! I hope you got what you wanted and needed this christmas and I hope you weren't conscious of all the food that you ate. I know I wasn't x_x

This year, I wasn't pressured to feel the Christmas spirit and I'm quite glad for that. I didn't get all depressed and mopey about how everyone is fantastically happy and cheery. How everyone looked like they downed a bottle of good red wine while I was forced to take castor oil, strapped to a very uncomfortable chair. No. I felt good that I didn't need to feel the Christmas spirit.

Maybe that is my very own form of Christmas cheer? Ha ha, whatever.

I bought a ton of stuff and for my gorgeous family and friends (except the boys. oh no oh no!). Though I didn't recieve a gabundok of presents (as Khan kept reminding me, "You'll have more on our Christmas party!" yay!) I was still pretty good and happy. I knew I gave them awesome presents and I was so glad that my mum was really surprised with the extra 2 gifts I gave her (she thought the haircut we got together was my Christmas present Ohoho.). I got monies and a really sweet card from my cousins (Micky, Monchie and Kiko) from the states that almost made me shed a tear. I SRLSY MISS THEM ;;

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Food was great as usual. My mum wasn't able to slaughter buy the really really big ham we have every year but instead bought slices which was pretty awesome (more fridge space!). I didn't drink coke because my tummy would go "GRARR. I GIVE YOU PAIN." So I stayed clear of my fizzy dark sweet drink of doom.

Sagar's sister, Smita, flew in from India to spend Christmas with us! This is our first time meeting her but she's awesome. She's just a couple of years older than me. She's so pretty. RLY.

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I'm jumping from one topic to another. No chronological order. Woohoo!

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I got an MP3 player as an early Christmas present from my mum and I killed it with a ton of stickers >3



Me and Mookie desu. 1GB of chipipay sweet music. 3 hours of battery life which is a shame because I still have to endure 2 hours of Sir Araw's rambling. Mou mou mou.

Gosh. Kore wa ichiban sugoi ga nichi.

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I lost my phone. Well, someone stole it from my Japeks Toki Doki bag/ I was shocked and then I felt kind of sad then I felt all right. So now my old Globe # is dead and gone ;; now I new number it's

09158330136

SMS me with your name and a greeting!

I might get myself a new phone. I'll make sure I get a flip phone. SRSLY. Because I want some serious kira kira keitai action.

It's so very pretty x__x

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Kore wa ichiban sugoi ga nichi.

What you really need

I believe I have lost my writing abilities. I can't even write a decent blog entry for the AdDos Multiply page. Nothing witty comes up, there is no event. I honestly believe I've out-emoed myself this time.

I can't even write about my darling Suzie (my fictional alter ego) which kind of sucks because for the past few weeks my life has been nothing but one huge emotional turbulence. Maybe I should get back on my pseudo-prozac life.

I can't really store this under MEGA NEGA. It's too much.

Maybe I should grab myself some ice cream. Cookies and cream McFlurry sounds right.

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So I've actually thought of something to write about...

I am a rather self destructive person. I tend to push people to their limits just to see how they would react. I am a hands on observer, I don't do these things because I'm mean or because I want to give them a hard time, I do it because I want to elict a reaction. I live for reactions, without them the world would be boring and stale.

Spoken like a true ENTP!

I've been going with this for years. To the point where people will just stop telling me things as to not give me the oppurtunity to ask "Why? Why? Wassup? Tell me." Because they will tell me. If ever I did get through the person (usually unwillingly) I will regret it immedeatly after. And by regret I mean hate myself completely to utter lunacy.

I know, I have serious issues.

Anyway, as an act of "rebuilding myself" I will stop being pushing and poking people. I will let them be. I will not rush them, I will not provoke them. In short, I will stop being an ass.

I don't enjoy pushing people I love (very very much) away. But maybe it's a test of self-control?

Whatever.

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I just really wish everything was back to normal. And by normal I mean everything is there where it was before. I don't want you to lose it, really.

Sige lang, sandal ka lang

It's funny how things turn movie-esque. You're looking at his blog thinking about everything that bothered you today and wondered if it's all alright, when your mobile rings and it's him saying goodnight.

I'm still not good. Maybe I will have to pull a Nicole Richie and seek better influences, better outcomes. Avoid the people that put me down and hurt me, get rid of my frenemies because they're simply not worth it.

I'll stay strong and I'll trust.

To those who helped me through this day, who saw me leak a tear or two, to those who stand by and behind me despite my issues, to those who continue to love me even though I can be intolerable most at times, Thank you. I don't know what I'd do without you.

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Despite my moping and sulking it was a relatively productive and good day :) I got Betty back. To those who don't know, Betty is what I call my old old old PC. She's had a rough rough life but she's back! I need to get my iTunes installer though... and Mozilla (ew ew ew internet explorer) and a bunch of other programs that will surely kill Betty's motherboard.

I passed my (yucky yucky) package design plate (RAISINS!!) and then we visited Sugar in the hospital~ Thank you faculty christmas party!

I am no longer making sense.

But I think I got my point across.

People loved my outfit today.

Go black go!

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i♥tokwa

Maybe I should pull a Nicole Richie

And ditch the bad inflences in my life. Get rid of the MEGA NEGA factors, people and things that hurt me and my friends.

Of course I'd rather not talk about it because these factors insipre negativity, insecurity and dangerous dangerous paranoia. I don't think anyone needs that.

So please, stop making my life worse. Stop antagonizing me. Stop making my life a living hell.

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Back to work.

Love, peace and understanding

I have nothing to blog about even though there are a couple of things worth noting.

We don't have classes today and tomorrow and only one subject on saturday (DAMN YOU PRO ETH!!). We don't have classes today because of a super typhoon.

See? I'm not in a writing mood. No thought provoking entry toady kiddies.

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I don't know why I'm so out of it lately. My designs for Fashion Design were all uninspired and screams of "BLAH. Do better!" And these are street/casual wear, mind you. They were all very Seventeen or Candy. It's so annoying! I want to be Flaunt! I want to be Nylon! I want to be Preview (fashion editorial, mind.)

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I picked up my super late copy of Preview and Mega and it's was quite ok. I mean, I read Preview and I was amused and entertained by the stuff in it. They were conservavocative (conservativep-provocative. Word owned by Creole. Thanks). Not entirely refreshing but they were at least different.

Mega bored me to sleep. Literally. If it wasn't for the fact that I had to flip the pages (in hopes of finding something remotely interesting) I could have drifted off to sleep. Actually, immedeatly after finishing flipping through the magazine, I laid on my side and slept.

You know there something wrong with your magazine if people feel compelled to sleep after they finish reading about your badly-documented parties. Le sigh!

I wish fashion would stop being so damn "cutting edge". It's like all that FASHION SUICIDE from 13 Going on 30. We'd like to see something warm, something achievable and yet aspirational! We want to see editorials under the sun, with neon eyeshadow and smiles!

All these fashion editorials in our haute fashion magazines inspire less and less smiles everyday.

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Oh look, a thought provoking entry.

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I love fashion but I'm so bored with it. (Yes, even with all the patent and glitter and studs and gold.)

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I guess I should say something about the storm.

I hope everyone is well in this rather scary time. Board up your windows, cut loose branches and stock up. Charge all your mobile phones and laptops, get your candles, emergency radios and batteries up.

Creole, it's a typhoon, not armageddon.

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LOL LOL

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Now I feel like writing a million things and a million thoughts. I'm talking to Eunice right now. She's my long-lost high school friend. OH HOW I MISSED HER!!

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Now, I have to get back to work. Bwahaha.

Deep Inside of You

I have Third Eye Blind's "Deep Inside of You" stuck in my head. If this goes on I might as well be singing and banging to "You Get What You Give" by New Radicals. Go Go Go 90's!

Enough!

Yesterday has been a terrific day! The weather was cooperative, the professors were fine and dandy (God Bless CFAD-week hangovers! Everyone feels extra gracious and generous with deadlines!) and clouds were absolutely breathtaking (there was literally a silver lining! It's like God wanted to get our attention with a "SUP KIDS?". it worked. more on this later!) I got to talk to the boyfriend about raisins and his love of mini stop and me. bwahahah., my nerves were till shakey (from an unseen disturbance/stress) but it was ok because I was reassured a million times by my lovely lovely friends!

Oh no. The world is ending! Could it be that dear Creole is actually wholesome. Of course not! Well, not entirely at least. I'm just appreciating the world because it needs words of encouragement. It did it's part well for keeping us from floating away in space and away from anal probes and mind-fucking. Thanks world! Thanks God!

Anyway, so we did raisin boxes yesterday for package design. This exercise will not change my mind about raisins. It's still for old people. Im not even going to rant about the class (or Sir's comments concerning breat pumps and "draculas") but instead I'm going to rant about the clouds. Yes the clouds.

It was, as I mentioned earlier, absolutely breathtaking. At first it was the warm orange-hued sun filtering through out tinted windows. It made my cheeks warm despite the biting cold of the classroom air-conditioning and it made everyhing glow sepia-ish. Oh, I hope you understand. Then the sun hid itself behind these massive clouds just enough as to create a SILVER LINING. So it made me wonder:

Could this be a sign God sent me? For all these wonderings and acute-yet-subtle anxiety? That it's all going to be ok, whatever happens, whatever the consenquences? Wow. I figured that in a span of a minute yesterday (while rendering rasins!). But I still wonder, its it a YES or a NO. All signs point to no but I can never be too sure.

Yes, I actually think in that order. And I actually think in english with songs and lyrics flashing along my lobes every so often.

I'm always deathly superstitious and suspicious. I can never ever be too sure. That's why I have certain trust issues. I'm crazy. Anyway, I'll be ok!

Adprod was uneventful yet fun. Prof. Estrella (female) was neat and light. Neat neat neat! I just know that our AdProd subject will actually put things into our heads this sem. I just know it! haha!

The radio show last night was something else!

Song Obsession of the moment: Your Ex-Lover is Dead by Stars It gives my heart just the right twinge. :3 :3

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Hollywood-totally-indifferent report!


A fictional look at photographer Diane Arbus' life. It looks amazing. Let's watch let's watch!

Can we please watch Casino Royale and Happy Feet!

♥♥