What you really need

I believe I have lost my writing abilities. I can't even write a decent blog entry for the AdDos Multiply page. Nothing witty comes up, there is no event. I honestly believe I've out-emoed myself this time.

I can't even write about my darling Suzie (my fictional alter ego) which kind of sucks because for the past few weeks my life has been nothing but one huge emotional turbulence. Maybe I should get back on my pseudo-prozac life.

I can't really store this under MEGA NEGA. It's too much.

Maybe I should grab myself some ice cream. Cookies and cream McFlurry sounds right.

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So I've actually thought of something to write about...

I am a rather self destructive person. I tend to push people to their limits just to see how they would react. I am a hands on observer, I don't do these things because I'm mean or because I want to give them a hard time, I do it because I want to elict a reaction. I live for reactions, without them the world would be boring and stale.

Spoken like a true ENTP!

I've been going with this for years. To the point where people will just stop telling me things as to not give me the oppurtunity to ask "Why? Why? Wassup? Tell me." Because they will tell me. If ever I did get through the person (usually unwillingly) I will regret it immedeatly after. And by regret I mean hate myself completely to utter lunacy.

I know, I have serious issues.

Anyway, as an act of "rebuilding myself" I will stop being pushing and poking people. I will let them be. I will not rush them, I will not provoke them. In short, I will stop being an ass.

I don't enjoy pushing people I love (very very much) away. But maybe it's a test of self-control?

Whatever.

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I just really wish everything was back to normal. And by normal I mean everything is there where it was before. I don't want you to lose it, really.